Well, that was quick (there’s definitely a value to me writing this blog thing, for me at any rate).
All this labelling is redundant, actually. The reason why I feel compelled to come up with a suitable label to “explain my status” is that I’ve been persuaded by subtle cultural pressure (including from within the trans community) that I shouldn’t just call myself a woman.
Because I’m 6’3″. Because I have a deep voice. Because I prefer women. Because I don’t want to wear dresses. Because I’m not feminine.
But there are plenty of women like me. Well, maybe not as tall, but certainly the rest of it. And most of them have probably gone through life feeling just as unsure about their “value” and position in society at times as I am.
I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: “normal” isn’t More Normal, it’s just More Common. We women who aren’t femme, aren’t het – we’re not abnormal, just rarer.
Being in mid-transition, it’s hard for me to unfurl fully into my sense of identity as a woman anyway, I’m physically so in-between – and not being a mainstream kind of woman makes it that much harder, as the women’s tribe I belong to is quite a minority among women, is less visible (at least around here).
So it goes – I’m not going to bow to the pressure to conform/leave. I just need to grow up, and that takes time. The average teenager is going through much the same thing, even if they’re not outside The Norm in one way or another. It’ll be alright.