I’ve come to the conclusion that I learned Relationships by (as it were) reading the Neurotypical Relationship Phrase Book – which meant I was sort of able to bumble through for a while each time because at least I appeared to be speaking the language, but really I had no idea what I was doing.
And then I tried doing this with someone neurodiverse and it was an abject failure,
because the language I was using wasn’t one either of us actually speaks.
So maybe I could successfully Relationship in ND with someone else ND if I can first learn to let go of that other language and mindset I’ve been forced into learning.
Growing up autistic in NT society is more than a bit like being kidnapped and forced to live in another country where everyone is like “you live here, speak the damn language!”